


Constellations

by EgoStorm



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, fluff i guess but not really, i love verkwan but i dont think im meant to write it, i never realized verkwan would be so difficult to write, im really just posting it because its complete and i spent way too much time on it, not even going to pretend that this is all that great, this didnt really go in the direction i thought it would, this is a mess, unedited unbetaed forgive me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:22:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EgoStorm/pseuds/EgoStorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seungkwan has always hated his moles, but then Hansol gives him a reason to love them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Constellations

  
  


The shrill of his alarm pierced Seungkwan’s eardrums and abruptly pulled him from his sleep, just like any other day. After shutting off his alarm with quick movements, he rubbed the dryness from his eyes before slowly opening them. He tossed his covers aside and swung his legs over the bed, using the momentum to spring up from the bed. After stretching his arms above his head, he made his way to the bathroom. When he entered, he looked at his reflection from the mirror as per routine, a slight frown emerging, before he dipped his head down to turn on the faucet and wash his face. 

 

He never liked seeing his face in the mornings, and he had no idea why he was compelled to do so every day. His hair was a fluffy mess, his face never failed to swell, and his moles were clearly visible. So many flaws could be seen right after waking up, and every morning, he would spend much of his time fixing himself.

 

A few minutes with a brush and hair dryer, and his hair became tame and well-styled. Pressing a cold, damp towel on his face reduced the swelling to a reasonable amount. The part he liked least about himself, however, were his moles. There was no way to make them go away, so the best he could do was cover them up with makeup. Using makeup to hide them would never change the fact that they were always there, and that was what upset Seungkwan the most. Looking at himself every morning only reminded him of that reality.

 

Was he shallow for hating his moles? Maybe. But he lived in a harsh world where appearances matter more than people claim. He lived in a world full of prejudice. He lived in a world where it was hard to love yourself no matter how others reassured you that you look fine. Not that he had any reassurance that didn’t come from his mother. What was a teenage boy to do but to cover his flaws from the world that hated them so much?

 

When he was done getting himself ready for school, he grabbed his backpack, put on his shoes, and left for school, skipping breakfast like he had been for the past week. He noticed that his cheeks seemed to appear a bit chubby recently, and he felt the need to bring them back to an acceptable size. After all, his weight  _ was _ something he could change if he worked hard enough for it.

 

By some miracle, his hair did not fight him today, and was relatively quick to style, and so Seungkwan was earlier than usual. When he walked down the stairs of the subway station, he noticed that he would be taking an earlier subway than the one he normally took. After scanning his pass, he made his way to the lines that were already forming. He rocked on his toes as he waited for the subway, wondering what he would do to kill time in the classroom before the teacher got there. He  _ could _ study, but he probably wouldn’t have the motivation to. Maybe he could take a quick nap while listening to music.

 

Seungkwan froze briefly before he started to rummage through his backpack. He explored the smaller pockets at first, and then the larger ones. It didn’t take long for him to realize that the headphones he was looking for were not in his backpack, or anywhere on him for that matter.

 

There went that idea. That meant that he wouldn’t have anything to occupy his mind during lunch break. He had been listening to music to get his mind off of everything, including his recent lack of lunch. He sat down on an empty seat in defeat and wondered if he should break his diet for today because of his unfortunate circumstances. Maybe he could find a new distraction instead. 

 

He didn’t realize until later just how easy a distraction would be to find.

 

When class began, the first thing the teacher announced was that they were rearranging the seating order. A collection of grumbles could be heard as students picked up their desks to move them to their new spots. Seungkwan, who was originally seated near the front, was now seated in the back row in the far right, the closest seat to the door. It meant there would be no one on his right. To his left, however, was a student Seungkwan was not so fond of.

 

Hansol.

 

Hansol was a bit of a strange kid, based on what Seungkwan had observed. He was a loud one for sure, and sometimes Seungkwan was able to hear his laughter through his headphones. He also seemed to have a bit of an obsession with stars. Hansol had only been sitting besides Seungkwan for a few minutes and he could already tell. Hansol had a pencil with a small star charm on top, and was doodling stars in his notes with it. Though Seungkwan didn’t realize it at first, the stars were shaped perfectly. When he noticed this, he began to stare at the doodles, wondering how many stars Hansol had to have practiced drawing in order to get them so neat. His gaze shifted to the tip of Hansol’s pencil, where a new star was being created. Seungkwan watched in awe how the star was lined swiftly and then filled in without error. It was perfect. 

 

Hansol’s pencil abruptly stopped, and when Seungkwan looked up to see what was wrong, he saw that Hansol was already eying him. 

 

“Do you like stars, too?” he whispered, trying not to let the teacher hear.

 

“No… I mean, that’s not what I meant. I don’t not like them, but that’s not why…” he pointed to the stars in Hansol’s notebook. “How do you draw them so perfectly?”

 

A small smile formed on Hansol’s face. “There’s a little trick I use. You see, I start by drawing an upside-down pentagon-”

 

“How am I supposed to draw a perfect pentagon? That sounds even harder.”

 

Seungkwan had forgotten that they were in the middle of lecture, and hadn’t held back his voice. His question to Hansol was loud enough for the teacher to pick up.

 

“Boo Seungkwan, Choi Hansol, detention for the both of you.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When lunch break began, Seungkwan was still a bit bitter about getting detention. It was more his fault than Hansol’s, but he didn’t expect such a ridiculous answer to his question. Who even drew stars by beginning with pentagons? Who even  _ thought _ of drawing stars by beginning with pentagons?

 

A rumble in his stomach interrupted his thoughts and he was reminded of his dilemma from that morning. He didn’t have his headphones, his music, his source of distraction. When he contemplated buying bread, he realized that he was already too late. He sat closest to the door, but he didn’t use that to his advantage. All the bread was probably sold out by now.

 

Defeated, Seungkwan lowered his head onto his desk. Maybe if he didn’t expend as much energy, he wouldn’t feel his hunger so much. He could feel emptiness tickling the walls of his stomach and grimaced when it rumbled once again.

 

“Hey… are you okay?”

 

Seungkwan lifted his head to respond to Hansol, who had taken out a lunch box decorated with star patterns.

 

“Could be better.”   
  


“Did you forget your lunch?”

 

No, he had forgotten his headphones that helped drive his attention away from an empty stomach.

 

“Yeah, kind of.”

 

Hansol opened the lid of his lunch box, and Seungkwan was almost surprised that nothing about his actual lunch was star-shaped. There was rice, sausages, rolled eggs, and cherry tomatoes packed neatly. For Seungkwan who didn’t have a lunch, it looked appetizing beyond belief. He could feel his mouth water, and it seemed Hansol noticed his longing.

 

“Do you want some?”

 

“In return for what? I don’t have anything to offer.”

 

“Mmm… then if I give you some of my lunch, why don’t you give me some of your time?”

 

Seungkwan raised an eyebrow.

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“What do you think about stars?”

 

And so, while Seungkwan took some bites of Hansol’s meal, Hansol spoke nonstop about his love for stars. He started with a few facts about them, like how they are giant balls of heat and chemical reactions, and how their light takes so long to reach the Earth, that many stars that people see have long been gone, but their light remains as it travels through space. He stalked about stars and its history of people, how travellers used to rely heavily on constellations in order to find their way. He stayed on the topic of constellations for a long time, telling Seungkwan about how some of them came to be, and some folk stories behind some of them. He shared the stories of how a constellation earned its name. He shared how the zodiac signs related to constellations, and how depending on the time of the year, different constellations were visible.

 

There was something really pure about how ecstatic Hansol was about share his knowledge. Seungkwan listened to every word, more in awe of Hansol’s enthusiasm than what Hansol was telling him. Everything he heard was interesting, though nothing made Seungkwan want to learn more about stars on his own. He thought of Hansol differently though. He wasn’t just a weird kid who had an obsession with stars. He was a kid with a passion, who apparently never had anyone to share his interests with. It must have been why he spoke so much and so quickly.

 

It was only when the bell rang that Seungkwan realized just how long he had been listening to Hansol and his stories. It was only when the bell rang that Seungkwan realized that Hansol hadn’t eaten a single bite of his lunch, even though Seungkwan left plenty for him to eat. He felt guilty for it, but when Hansol smiled brightly at him, he knew the kid wasn’t the least bit bothered by it, even if Seungkwan still was.

 

But something about the way Hansol beamed after Seungkwan responded with a small smile, something about it made Seungkwan want to pay a bit more attention to him. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After school, Seungkwan and Hansol sat in their normal seats. Seungkwan was closest to the door, and Hansol was just to the left of him. They checked in with the teacher to carry out their detention, but the teacher left them alone to tend to other tasks. 

 

With the two of them being the only ones in the room, the silence between them was slightly awkward in Seungkwan’s opinion. He wondered if he should just keep quiet, or if he should start a conversation. Hansol didn’t seem to mind the silence, as he took about his notebook to doodle stars like he did earlier. Seungkwan watched him again, taking note of how he did indeed begin each star doodle with a pentagon. His curiosity replaced his fear of awkwardness and he asked Hansol the question that was lingering on his mind from before.

 

“How do you do that? I’ve never seen someone make such even pentagons. Pentagons are really hard to draw, you know? What made you decide to draw stars like that? Wouldn’t people normally start with the arms?”

 

“Hmm, I guess I just tried it one day and liked it? So I started drawing all my stars that way. It doesn’t take long to get used to, though. Why don’t you try it?”

 

Seungkwan waved his hands in denial.

 

“My pentagons look like a square with a roof. If I try drawing a star that way, it’s bound to look like a five-year-old drew it.”

 

“Try it. You never know if you don’t try, and even if it does look awful, practice makes perfect.”

 

Seungkwan squinted his eyes to inspect Hansol’s expression. He wondered if the kid was messing with him, but based on their interactions so far, he seemed genuine. 

 

“Ok… fine I’ll give it a shot.”

 

Seungkwan pulled out his own notebook and opened it to a random page. He pressed the tip of his pencil onto the lined page, but he kept it there, hesitating, suddenly nervous about how his pentagon would turn out. He was in front of an expert, after all. He was afraid that his work would be laughable, and so he couldn’t bring himself to start the drawing. He half expected Hansol to rush him with how long Seungkwan was hesitating, but instead the boy encouraged him softly.

 

“Take your time. We’ve got all detention.”

 

The unexpected reassuring statement gave Seungkwan confidence that Hansol wouldn’t make fun of his poorly drawn star, however it turned out. He drew a pentagon the best he could, and like he predicted, it looked like a square with a roof. Hansol didn’t laugh at it, and instead gave him the next set of instructions.

 

“Okay, now all you have to do is draw lines, straight from the edges. You could use a ruler to help you out.”

 

When the ruler was mentioned, Seungkwan suddenly thought of something.

 

“Wait, couldn’t I have drawn the pentagon with a stencil? That would have made things easier, right?”

 

Seungkwan noticed the slightest raise of Hansol’s eyebrows, which probably meant that it was something he hadn’t thought of before.

 

“I know there’s stencils in the classroom somewhere, let me go find them,” said Seungkwan as he stood up from his chair.

 

He rummaged through the cabinets, carefully looking through the supplies, until he found what he was looking for. He brought the stencil back to his seat to try drawing a pentagon again, but he noticed something else first.

 

“Hey, there’s a star stencil! I could just use this!”

 

The two boys looked at each other and started laughing. 

 

“Sorry, Hansol, but I don’t think I’ll ever draw nice stars, but thanks for trying.”

 

“Hey, you’re the first person who was interested in hearing anything I had to say. I mean, I did trade my lunch for your interest, but still.”

 

“Lunch or not, your stories were actually pretty interesting. I would like to hear more if you’re willing to share.”

 

And so, for the remainder of detention, Hansol continued to enlighten Seungkwan with his love for stars.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As always, Seungkwan was woken by a buzzing alarm before he walked to the bathroom to fix his appearance. He was brushing his hair in a daze, becoming more conscious of the day as time passed. When he remembered the events from the day before, a small smile appeared on his face. There was something really heartwarming about Hansol and his passion, and Seungkwan was glad he was able to get to know the boy. As he picked up the blow dryer, he thought about how he looked forward to talking to him again. As he started dotting concealer on his face, he thought about how Hansol probably wouldn’t judge him for his unsightly self in the morning. He wondered if Hansol suffered in the mornings like Seungkwan did to try to make himself presentable.

 

Seungkwan chuckled lightly to himself. He couldn’t imagine Hansol fretting over his looks in the mornings.

 

Once he was done, he changed his clothes and grabbed his backpack. Remembering that he didn’t have headphones, he quickly looked through his desk to find a pair, but when he thought of the new friend he made, he decided to give up his search. Hansol was much more entertaining than his music.

 

Seungkwan lined up at the station to wait for the subway to come, but it didn’t take long to arrive. He stepped into a car when the doors opened, but was surprised to see a familiar face already inside.

 

“Hansol?”

 

Hansol looked up from his phone, and he immediately smiled when he saw who called his name. 

 

“Seungkwan!”

 

He put his phone in his pocket as Seungkwan approached him, dodging the few people who wouldn’t move out of his way.

 

“Hansol, hey! Do you normally take this subway? I don’t think I ever noticed you before.”

 

Seungkwan noticed Hansol’s eyebrows raise slightly as he asked.

 

“I’m actually a bit later than usual. I take the subway before this, but yeah. My stop is the one just before this one.”

 

“You usually take the earlier one? I took that one yesterday, but I don’t remember seeing you. Maybe I just didn’t pay attention.”

 

“Oh, yesterday? I took this one yesterday too.” Hansol laughed meekly. “I was running a bit late.”

 

The two of them laughed at how they somehow missed each other. Thinking about it though, even if they were on the same subway, neither would have looked out for the other. Seungkwan didn’t realize it until Hansol pointed it out, but they had only started talking to each other the day before. It was only then that he realized how quickly they became comfortable with each other. He realized how they could laugh without holding themselves back, and how they never ran out of things to talk about, though it was mostly just Hansol talking about stars. Seungkwan discovered that Hansol fascinated him, almost like how stars fascinated Hansol.

 

By the time class began, Seungkwan knew more than just about stars, but he also discovered things about Hansol himself. He learned that his father was an astronomer, which was why he was so confident about his knowledge of stars. He also found that Hansol had a younger sister, who was very dear to him. He discovered that his mother was from America, and that his parents met when the both of them were studying abroad in Italy. 

 

Hansol just had never-ending stories to tell, and Seungkwan found himself eager to listen to the very end of each one. With every part of the story, Hansol made a different expression. It was amusing to see, but at the same time, Seungkwan wondered how Hansol was able to express his emotions so well with only the slightest change in his face. Seungkwan could only imagine himself wearing the most basic expressions: happiness, sadness, and anger. With Hansol, he could pick up emotions of surprise, joy, caution, wonder, disappointment, satisfaction, curiosity, and so much more. He never realized how dynamic Hansol could be with only his expressions. Seungkwan found himself staring at Hansol, at first to observe him. Before he knew it, he was staring in admiration.

 

As impossible as it may seem, Hansol was perfect. His hair was a beautiful brown tousled nicely, not in an artificially done kind of way. His eyes were a mesmerizing light brown, turning a golden amber color in the sun. His face was smooth and flawless, and his cheeks didn’t harbor any baby fat. Everything Seungkwan wished for, Hansol had. 

 

But for some reason, Seungkwan wasn’t mad about it. He couldn’t help but feel a bit envious, but he felt that Hansol deserved all of that. The more he found out about him, the more Seungkwan realized what an amazing person he was. 

 

They hadn’t known each other for long, but Seungkwan felt himself wanting to be with him longer. Before Seungkwan had the chance to ask though, Hansol asked him first.

 

“Hey, do you think you would be interested in going to a planetarium with me?”

 

“Planetarium? Like the indoor stargazing thing?”

 

“I guess that’s one way to look at it. It’s a really cool experience, and you learn a lot. I promise it’ll be fun.”

 

Hansol had his brows raised expectantly, a slight smile tugging at the sides of his lips in anticipation. Seungkwan did want to go, especially since his interest in stars had peaked ever since meeting Hansol, but also there was no way he could refuse such a face. 

 

“Sure. When do you want to go?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was 7:30pm on a Friday night when the two entered the planetarium. After school that day, the two boys went their separate ways, and when Seungkwan arrived at home, the first thing he did was take a shower. He was excited about going to the planetarium, and he fretted for on overly long time on what to wear. In the end, he opted for a casual look, but sprayed on a mist of fragrance. He didn’t want to seem like he tried too hard when it was just a simple outing.

 

Seungkwan and Hansol met at the subway station, as they both anticipated the event. When they stepped inside the planetarium room, it was dimly lit, as expected, but the sudden change from the brightly lit admission center made Seungkwan feel slightly unbalanced. He instinctively held onto Hansol’s arm. It was only after the two were seated that he let go, realizing that he might have been too intimate for Hansol’s comfort. But then he saw Hansol smiling at him and he understood that Hansol wasn’t the kind of person to be bothered by that kind of thing. Seungkwan laid back his head onto the headrest, a feeling of gratitude creeping up on him. He was thankful that somehow in this world with billions of people, he was able to meet Hansol. That somehow they were in the same school, in the same grade, in the same class, and finally, seatmates. The minimal lights inside the planetarium dimmed even more as Seungkwan thought about how fate worked, until Hansol’s hushed voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

“It’s starting.”

 

Seungkwan didn’t respond, because he felt a hand squeeze his. He hadn’t expected the sudden contact, and his body froze momentarily while his heart rate increased. 

 

But, he didn’t hate it.

 

The loud sound of someone speaking through a microphone distracted Seungkwan from his thoughts… Almost. 

 

The presenter started to introduce the audience to the universe. The same universe that they were living in, and the same universe that was so mundane, the presenter was able to make enchanting. Seungkwan was mostly allured by his extravagant explanations for how it all came to form, but Hansol’s hand never left his mind. It was still on top of Seungkwan’s, after all.

 

From his explanation of the universe, the presenter was able to easily transition to the stars that could be seen on the Earth. Seungkwan could hear a slight gasp from Hansol, and he couldn’t help but find it cute how excited the boy was getting.

 

It was when the presenter was talking about constellations that Seungkwan suddenly made a realization. Somehow, hearing about arbitrary stars and the shapes they made collectively was what prompted Seungkwan think about his relationship with Hansol. Why? Perhaps it was how despite the unimaginably large distance between the stars of a constellation, people on Earth have grouped them together into images. It was like how even just a few days ago, Seungkwan would never have thought that he would become so close to Hansol. They were just different people who happened to be in the same classroom, like those stars that happen to appear like they were nearby from the point of view of the earth. Maybe it wasn’t so much fate that pulled them together, but that both Seungkwan and Hansol somehow wanted to befriend one another in the very back of their consciousness thoughts. And Seungkwan was glad that they met.

 

He was more than glad. He finally had something to really look forward to, whether it was Hansol’s stories, or his laughs. Whether it was his reactions or his voice. Seungkwan wanted to experience all of Hansol.

 

He  _ liked _ Hansol.

 

He really _ really  _ liked Hansol.

 

Even though they didn’t know each other for very long, it felt right to talk to him, to be with him. No matter how much Hansol talked about himself, Seungkwan always wanted to hear more. 

 

But it was more than just that.

 

The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to experience things with Hansol. He wanted to be with Hansol. To talk about their lives, to give each other smiles, to hold hands like they were at that moment.

 

The speaker was just about finished with the story of the star-crossed lovers of Vega and Altair when Seungkwan had a thought run across his mind.

 

_ I think I might love Hansol. _   
  


Might. He wasn’t completely sold on the idea, but he couldn’t deny the possibility. He glanced over at Hansol, who was watching the artificially lit stars in wonder. Seungkwan couldn’t tear his eyes away, and his heart rate started to increase after he confirmed in his mind that yes, he was indeed in love with Hansol. And very much so.

 

That fact was all that remained on Seungkwan’s mind for the remainder of the show. He watched the pretty lights above him, but he couldn’t focus on anything the presenter said. All he could think about was how he hoped that Hansol wouldn’t be able to detect his heartbeat through their connected hands, at some point which their fingers interlaced. Seungkwan couldn’t stop his lips from curling upwards, so he tried to subtly angle his face away from the boy next to him. When Hansol unconsciously tightened his grip, Seungkwan would bite his lip to prevent himself from grinning like an idiot. For some reason, acknowledging his feelings made it that much harder to hide them.

 

“So, what did you think?” Hnasol inquired when the two were walking to the train station. They were still holding hands, and neither made a move to let go.

 

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. I had fun.”

 

Hansol pouted. “Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like you had fun. Did I force you to come? Was I too pushy?”

 

“I had fun, really. Okay, you’re right it doesn’t sound like it. I swear on my life it was fun, okay? It was the best date I ever ha-”

 

Seungkwan clamped his mouth shut. He hadn’t meant to call their outing a date, and he didn’t want Hansol to take his words the wrong way. He held his breath, anticipating Hansol’s reaction. To Seungkwan’s surprise, he smiled.

 

“I’m glad.” He looked up at the night sky. “But I don’t want this date to end just yet.”

 

“Wait, you mean this  _ was _ a date?”

 

“Of course.” Hansol glanced over with wary eyes. “Unless… you didn’t want it to be”

 

“No! I mean, yes. I want it to be.”

 

Hansol squeezed Seungkwan’s hand. “Then it’s a date.”

 

The two found themselves lying on the grassy banks of the Han river, staring lazily at the stars, still holding on to each other’s hand. It was silent at first, but then Hansol began pointing out the constellations he recognized. He began naming them, and Seungkwan followed along, but Seungkwan was still feeling giddy from Hansol’s declaration that their outing was a date.

 

Hansol seemed to have noticed Seungkwan’s distractedness.

 

“Seungkwan, are you okay? Is there something wrong?”

 

“No, not really.”

 

“You seem quiet.”

 

“I’m just… thinking.”

 

Hansol let go of Seungkwan’s hand, much to the boy’s disappointment, and then rolled over and propped himself on his elbows, looking down at Seungkwan next to him.

 

“About what?”

 

Seungkwan felt the heat rise to his face as Hansol stared at him. They were close, and Seungkwan could see again, under the light of the stars and the moon, just how perfect and pretty Hansol was. He looked like a prince, while Seungkwan… wasn’t even close. Hansol was a pure, bright gem, and Seungkwan was not. Was it okay for him to think that Hansol might like someone like him?

 

Seungkwan swallowed from nervousness. Before, he was always able to tell Hansol what was on his mind, but when the topic had to do with his feelings, it was much more difficult. He looked off to the side as he gathered his courage to make a confession, trying to sound as casual as possible.

 

“You said this was a date, and, you see, I like you, and so, I think it would be cool if, you know, maybe we went on more dates and stuff, if you want to, because I want to… Not to pressure you just because I want to, but I’m just saying we could… Yeah.”

 

“You like me?”

 

“Y-yeah.”

 

“What about me?”

 

“... huh? I mean. You’re cool?”

 

Hansol let out a hearty laughter. “You’re pretty cool too, Seungkwan.”

 

Seungkwan felt like an idiot, not being able to convey his feelings properly. He wanted to say more, but his mind was blank. He wanted to describe to Hansol just how perfect he was, but he couldn’t think of the words. Instead, he decided to ask Hansol the same.

 

“You… you like me too, right?”

 

“Yeah,” he replied confidently.

 

“What about me do you like?”

 

“Everything. I like everything about you, Seungkwan. I like that you’re easy to talk to, I like that you always know what to say, I like that you’re funny and it’s never boring when I’m with you. I like that you don’t judge me for liking stars so much, even when other people would say I’m weird or girly for it. I like that you can always brighten my day with just a few words. I like your voice, especially when you call my name so cheerfully. I love your laugh, and I love your smile. I love the way your hand fits into mine. I love the way you make me feel. You’re perfect. I don’t know what else I can say.”

 

_ Perfect _ ? Hansol called  _ Seungkwan _ … perfect? Seungkwan was thrown in a state of confusion. He wasn’t sure exactly what to feel.

 

“ _ You’re _ perfect. I’m… not.”

 

“You are.”

 

“No, I… I have messy hair, and my cheeks are chubby, and I’m not attractive at all-”

 

“What are you even saying? You’re beautiful. You’re really, truly, I swear to God, honestly so beautiful. There’s no way you can’t see that, even if it’s just a little.”

 

“No, but I also have these awful moles-”

 

“Who says they’re awful?”

 

Seungkwan felt hot tears collecting in his eyes, and his vision became blurry. That’s right, Hansol never really saw the real Seungkwan. He only ever saw the Seungkwan that came out of effort and concealing. If he saw the real Seungkwan, would he really be saying such things so easily? Seungkwan couldn’t stop his voice from wavering, but he spoke anyways.

 

“You wouldn’t know. You haven’t seen them.”

 

“But I’m seeing them right now.”

 

“You’re… what?”

 

And that was when Seungkwan realized that he hadn’t retouched the makeup on his face after he took a shower after school. He didn’t have a bedhead or anything, so there was no reason for him to style his hair, but his routine normally consisted of applying makeup  _ after _ doing his hair. That meant that his face was completely bare, and Hansol was seeing all of it. He was seeing all of it, and yet… he still dared to call Seungkwan beautiful?

 

Seungkwan covered his face in shame, feeling exposed suddenly. He never wanted Hansol to see him in such a state. He hated his moles. He hated them. Of course Hansol would hate them too.

 

“Hey,” Hansol said softly and he peeled away Seungkwan’s hand’s from his face. Seungkwan was crying, and so Hansol wiped away his tears. “Why are you crying?”

 

“Because I hate my moles. I wish I didn’t have them.”

 

“But they’re beautiful. Why would you want them gone?”

 

“How are they beautiful? I don’t get it. They’re hideous.”

 

Hansol wiped away more of Seungkwan’s tears. He then asked the same question he asked on the day they first spoke to each other.

 

“I want to ask you something. What do you think about stars?”

 

Seungkwan wasn’t quite sure why Hansol decided to change the subject. Maybe he felt uncomfortable talking about Seungkwan’s outer appearance. Seungkwan went along with the shift in conversation.

 

“They’re cool. I like them more now than I did before.”

 

“What do you like about them?”

 

“I like how there light up the sky.”

 

Hansol chuckled. “Is that all?”

 

“I also like how they’re really pretty.”

 

“And why are they pretty to you?”

 

“They just are. I guess the way they’re all scattered makes the night sky more interesting.”

 

“And what do you think about constellations?”

 

“I like them too.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know. The way that people found a way to make them significant by making shapes out of them? The fact that they’re kind of arbitrary but at the same time not? Why are you asking me all these questions?”

 

“Seungkwan, you’re moles are pretty to me.” Hansol held up a hand to prevent Seungkwan from saying anything. “Wait, let me finish. You said the stars are pretty to you because of the way they scatter across the night sky. Well guess what? Your moles are pretty to me because of the way they scatter across your skin. You like constellations because even if they seem arbitrary, they’re significant. But Seungkwan, you,  _ you _ have moles that are just as pretty. I don’t know why you can’t see that. But it’s more than just your moles. You, as an entire person, are beautiful. You are. Stop telling yourself that you’re not.”

 

The way Hansol was describing him, Seungkwan almost felt like he was being silly about all of this.That it was obvious that Seungkwan wasn’t as pretty as Hansol was claiming. He never thought about himself in that way before and it was really the first time someone spoke so determinedly about him. He felt moved, to say the least. Like he was inching away from his the hatred that he harbored for so long, just from his words. But only inching.

 

“But I’ve hated the way I’ve look all my life. How can I just change the way I think about myself?”

 

Hansol smiled. He took Seungkwan’s hand and kissed the knuckle so very gently. “Even if it takes me all my life, I will make you realize just how beautiful you are.”

 

Seungkwan could feel his tears starting to dry up. He wiped the last stray tear away and smiled lightly,

 

“It’s going to take a long time to get me to love myself. You would have to spend a lot of time with me”

 

“Then, I guess we should go on a lot of dates.”

 

The boys laid back down onto the grass, hands entwined once again under the sky full of stars. Seungkwan couldn’t stop looking at the beauty of the galaxy above them, and Hansol couldn’t stop looking at the beauty that was the boy beside him. Hansol scooted closer to him, and when he thought he heard a few light snores, he spoke softly to no one in particular.

 

“I never really liked one constellation more than another.” He gazed fondly at Seungkwan’s peacefully sleeping face. “But today, I think I found my favorite.”

**Author's Note:**

> sorryforthedisappointmentthiswastoohardtowriteimneverwritingaverkwanagain


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